If you are a mom with a new baby, you may soon be lamenting that your personal “vacation party days” are over–probably for good. Your future vacations are going to be primarily dedicated to special family time. As my oldest daughter once said to me, when I informed her that Daddy and I were going away alone for three days, “There can be no vacation without your children.” Welcome to your child’s world view. (more…)
Unfortunately, the only people who get the endorsement of “like” and “trust” are already very close to you. The anxiety we feel when we hire an unknown person is because you’re leaving your child with someone you won’t get to know until after they’ve started working.
So what do you do if you determine a nanny is your best solution for child care? (more…)
Have you ever felt so entranced by your baby that you lose track of yourself as a grown-up? I don’t mean in the chronological sense of your age but in the sense of your role. Are you Mommy, the cuddler-nurturer, at one with your infant? Or are you Mommy the leader, an example for all the little ones who are going to grow up in your home? Sometimes we need a wake-up call to merge the two into the one person our children call “Mom.” (Not to mention regaining the identity of co-producer with the other adult member of the family).
My mother gave me my wake-up call at 3:00 am, one Tuesday morning, when she walked into my kitchen where I was more or less pretending to enjoy playing goo-goo-gah-gah with a baby who obviously thought it was 3:00 in the afternoon. (more…)
In 2005, the author, Ayelet Waldman, wrote an essay for the NY Times declaring that she loved her husband MORE than she could ever love her children. All hell broke loose in the mom universe. A mother of four, she asserted that if one of her children died, she could get over that, but without her husband, her life would “have no joy.” She could not “picture a future without him.” (more…)
Have you ever put a week of your life on a spreadsheet and accounted for every hour of your time? Have you ever tried to find time for the “ME” in your life somewhere on that spreadsheet? (more…)
I don’t believe I’ve ever read a book, watched a television show, a movie, or even had a conversation about raising children that didn’t involve or suggest “maternal guilt.” If it wasn’t spoken, it was intended to be said, and if nobody blamed a mom outright for whatever was wrong, it is always implied. (more…)